Definitions
by Lizzle09
Summary: "The beauty of humanity, the ability to love without question, it was something Rose undoubtedly possessed and something he could only learn from." The Doctor tries to define why he loves Rose   comes to a simple conclusion.


**A/N: **Again, just something I found floating around on my computer, so I figured Id upload it... this is the Doctor trying to figure out his feelings, trying to figure out why he loves Rose.. so I hope I get that across :-)

**Disclaimer: **Doctor Who belongs to the BBC... :-( Even though I badly wish it was mine ;)

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**Definitions. **

Defining himself was easy, he reasoned, Timelord, traveller, never stopping, never staying, always moving and always finding himself completely and utterly alone; which is why he moves on constantly.

Defining her, she was beautiful, elegant, inspiring and more than anything else he found a kindred spirit within her. She had become his companion from the moment he had met her, and it had become the norm for her to be by his side. Something which he hastened to live without.

The old timelord was sitting in his usual haunt, the library, Rose was off re-dying her hair or painting her nails, he should really learn to listen when she's rambling on about some girly things she wanted to do. He rolled his eyes lovingly as he thought about her, he rubbed his face and then rested back on the chair, his book, 'the entire history of the human race' lay on his stomach as he did so.

He could never understand that emotion. The emotion that can tear someone apart or bring them together, that can make you do crazy things and that can make you sacrifice so much for just one other person in the world is truly the most powerful thing within existence. He could never understand how it happened, how great love starts. Is it in a look? Is it a word? Is it a smile?

The Doctor thought back to the first time he met her, it was so long ago now, it was a lifetime ago in fact. He had tracked a signal for the Auton, these plastic dummies, back to a shop in London called Henricks, he had gone to check it out and once again save the human race, but instead he saw a frightened girl standing up against the wall with the Auton's nearly attacking her. He knew he had to do something, he held his hand out, interlocked his fingers with hers and said just one word, just the one, one that they would use continuously, 'run' and they ran and never really stopped. Was it that moment, the first time he held her hand that the feeling began?

Or had it been when he had seen her in that Victorian dress, he thought to himself, the way it showed her so beautifully and elegantly was something which hadn't amazed him, the truth was he knew that she was beautiful but he had also tried to keep a barrier between them, he didn't want to get to the point where he loved her too much because it would hurt much more if and when he lost her.

Maybe it was the fact that even though he sent her home to her mum and Mickey so that she could live and be safe, she still came back to him, she was willing to die to save him, her precious Doctor. She told him, 'I want you safe' but he had sent her back because he had wanted her to be safe, he should have known she wouldn't have been able to just let him and the TARDIS die, she had come back and had saved his life. That kiss had been something he had wanted to do since he met her, and when he did he had been happy to do so; after that he had changed and became the man he is now.

"No, that's not it is it?' he shook his head, standing up he made his way to his desk and put his book down, taking a seat he reached for a piece of paper, he began writing a list, a list of all the things they had shared together.

Maybe, it was that Christmas and new year they had shared with Mickey and Jackie, they had become quite close, the Doctor smirked, they had both gotten extremely drunk and had become quite touchy feely before the Doctor had realised what he was doing and had stopped it. He had uttered the words 'sorry' and Rose had just told him 'don't be'.

Or, was it the time when she kissed him on New Earth, that had taken his breath away, they had never been that intimate before and so it had shocked him, but he knew that as she was possessed he shouldn't ever mention it to her.

"Doctor?" Rose's voice echoed, interrupting his train of thought.

He looked up and saw her standing there, she had nought but a towel wrapped around her, the Doctor's heart skipped a beat, and his mouth dropped, 'yes, Rose." He said desperately needing a drink.

"Are you ok?"

"Im fine, Im great, Im brilliant." He rambled to try and hide the fact he was staring at her.

"Yeah, Doctor, you're rambling." She smirked.

"You know me, I love to talk,' he picked up his usual pace, the one where Rose usually felt like she'd just spilt her dinner down her shirt, 'anyway, was there something you wanted?"

"I was wondering if you'd seen my white shirt." She asked him, eyeing the list he had clearly been making, which he was now absent mindly pushing underneath his book.

"White shirt? Rose, you have loads of white shirts, you couldn't narrow it down a little could you?"

She smiled sarcastically, 'the one that I wore when we went to see mum last time."

"That one,' the Doctor recalled, 'I think I put it in the wash, except…" The Doctor's voice trailed off.

"Except what?" Rose asked, flashing him a look uncanny of her mother.

"It's now pink."

"What do you mean it's now pink?"

The Doctor made to answer and she held her hand up, 'I know how it turned pink, Doctor why did you do that?"

"Its not like I meant to Rose." He offered.

She stared at him as though she was analysing him, 'you can go into one of the big wardrobes upstairs, im pretty sure there's some designer stuff in there." He told her as a solution.

"I suppose that will be ok." Her lit up face completely betraying her tone of voice, the Doctor smirked, he knew he had won. She left him in the library to continue with whatever he was doing, flashing him a toothy grin as she left.

The Doctor watched Rose as she left the room, loosening his tie subconsciously, he pulled his list back out, and wrote just one word, 'smile'. How could he have failed to realise it, he had known her for so long and had seen it so many times, her smile was one to die for. He smiled to himself as he saw in his mind all of the times that she had shown it him, her addictive laugh, something he longed to hear everyday, something he was desperate to make her do every single day.

Even so, he scribbled it out; he threw his pen down on the table out of frustration for not being able to decide this.

"Why can't I do this?" He groaned, rubbing his hands over his face and then through his hair.

"Why can't I say why I love her, I cant even write it down, I can write an entire book but not just one measly thing about her." He rolled his eyes and then it hit him, like a huge ton of bricks, because he couldn't. It wasn't one thing that had made him fall in love, something he hadn't done in such a long time, it wasn't just her smile, it was her emotion, her passion, her thirst to save everyone, her smile, her beautiful smile that could brighten an entire constellation and that laugh, it was infectious.

No matter what they did, or what danger they were in she would always offer him a smile, she would always take his hand and go wherever he deemed they should. Never doubting him, never turning away just holding his hand and telling him everything was 'better with two'. He smiled lovingly, she was so typically human, so in need of adventure and just so, so typically Rose.

And that's what love is, he now understood. Its not something that can be explained, it's something that just happens. Sometimes it takes years, sometimes it takes work or sometimes it can just be one single second that can make the difference. And it turned out, that for him, it had just took one smile and he knew that he would forever be entwined with her, and her love would be something that would always keep him going, keep him fighting. The beauty of humanity, the ability to love without question, it was something Rose undoubtedly possessed and something he could only learn from.

What did he jot on the paper? Just one word, one single word, 'Rose'.

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**A/N: **I really hoped you enjoyed it, let me know your thoughts :-)

Much love,

Lizzle09x


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